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Life will never be the same for me after being diagnosed with Cancer on May 25, 2018.  It came so quick, so unexpected; I wasn't ready for that.  When the doctor showed me the results of my MRI stating I had a mass in the colon and innumerable masses in the liver, I just listened and kind of zoned out as well.  Once he left the room, and it was just me and my mom in that room I began to cry.  I mean it just came out, as I thought about my children, and for the first time about death.  I couldn't understand how I had that which I feared; Cancer!  

You see my mom had breast cancer in 2012, it was an aggressive one stage 3.  She went through chemo, radiation and surgery.  I knew chemo is a tough medicine and causes a lot of different side effects, and I saw how my mom lost all her hair and was never the same person she was before.  I was told by my doctor that colon cancer is not related to breast cancer, which they didn't know the cause for colon cancer in younger people.  They stated colon cancer usually happens to people who are 50 and older, and very rare on younger people.  And of course I had to be one of the lucky ones to get it.  So here I am having to now go through surgery to remove the tumor from my colon, and then chemo to reduce the tumors in my liver.  It has not been an easy journey, but I have to say that Cancer even though it has caused many lives to go, it has also changed people for the better.  In my case Cancer has been a blessing, weird right.  But is all about perspective, I wont lie I have days in which I question why me, and cry because I miss the old me who was able to do everything herself, or eat whatever she wanted.  But Cancer has taught me gratitude, an appreciation for life like never before, patience with my kids, and faith in a higher being that I cannot see but I know is there taking care of me.

The mind can be deceiving, it can take you to a dark space if you let it.  I surround myself with people who are going to uplift me and help me in this process, and thankfully I had it all along.  I try to keep myself busy, by reading, going to the movies alone or with friends, writing, and just overall keep my mind sane.  Life is full of ups and downs, but I learned we are here for a very short amount of time, and that time will not come back.  I want to now be of service to others going through a similar situation, when you serve it makes you feel good, and in return you are being a light in someone else's life.  I choose to be a light, a friend, and forgive quickly.  I encourage you to reflect on your life, on how are things right now in your life.  It is never too late to make changes, the work of healing internally starts with you.  Give yourself the gift of self love.  I hope to inspire you and be of service to you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog entry.  God bless you

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