Sharing my journey

 To hear that you have Cancer is one of the most devastating word you can ever try to assimilate.  I was told in 2018 that I had Cancer, and it took me by surprise.  I was shocked, in disbelief, and thought of death right away.  I knew there was something wrong with me at that moment because I was sick for months, but never thought it was Cancer.  This disease is hard on both the one who has it and those who care for you.  However, many think that having Cancer is horrible which it is but not many know that chemotherapy is what really deteriorates a person.  This treatment is full of toxicity, it kills the bad cells, but also the good cells.  It affects the entire body and plenty of times its side effects are sometimes hard to deal with. When it comes to chemotherapy, we only think about hair loss, but that is not its only weapon.  I have been taking chemotherapy for 2 years and a half now and I had good moments and bad moments.  The bad...

Is suffering necessary? I have pondered upon this question for a few months now.  This question came upon after Corona Virus hit us.  It also came after I questioned if having Cancer was necessary for me.  Does my suffering have any meaning, what has it done to me? was my question. After a long reflective moment I came to the conclusion that my suffering was necessary, it had to happen.  I realize these times we are living in needed to come so that our lifestyle shifts, so that our priorities change, so that we can savor the small moments, so that we realize that we are not immortal or invincible.  We don't have control of what happens, but we do have a choice in how we react when suffering comes. I remember my first suffering was when my father left my mom, and I saw my mom's suffering after my father left.  He wasn't a bad father, but for a child who is 3 or 4 years old you just focus on the fact that the person you love the most has left, and y...

She wore a scarf around her head to cover the bald spots chemo had caused on her. Seeing her bald spots daily reminded her of who she had now become.  She was now a woman with Cancer at the age of 33.  She didn’t care about hair you see; she wanted to do a pixie cut way before the illness came into her life.  Heck she even thought a bald look was edgy and sexy.  But now why did she hesitate to do it? to just shave her head. Perhaps she wasn't ready or she knew that taking the razor and shaving her head would mean she gave in to what she had.  The scarf was her protection until she decided to do it.  She thought it was a fashion statement and gave her super powers.  The scarf represented protection, comfort, and some normalcy in her life since everything else inside her was chaotic.  The scarf was leopard; which made her feel like a Queen.  She wrapped the scarf around her head in different ways to give it style.  She embraced the new ...